Opinion: You should break up with your girlfriend, she would be happier with me
Yes, yes. I know, I sound pathetic right? Break up with your girl so I can have her all to myself? Yes!
To most, this argument would sound rather pitiful and likely has you rolling your eyes – ready to shut your computer system machine off and call your girl to tell her how much you love her. Don’t do that. Me and your girl are basically meant for each other, I think. I wrote a song and am ready to name it after her if she’s the one, and I carved her name into her car. If you broke up with her now, you would be allowing us to finally be together, if you cared any bit at all about mental health you would do this without a second thought, I bet!
I spoke to your girl last week and she pretty much gave me all the signs that she wanted to be together (with me), and I think you are in the way of our perfect love. I know this might make your tummy curl and have you hurling, but this is reality, she wants me, and I want her. She will be mine.
“Why do you think she would want you anyway? You live in a box and smell like last nights dinner food.”
Ha, ha! Very funny, but that is yet another problem that can be solved if you let me be with your girl, because she has a home and I could move into it with her and we could be happy and I would even cook food for her when I figure out how to. Sure, maybe I don’t possess many life skills, but that isn’t a problem with her probably, she is down to earth and is perfectly understanding of my shortcomings, which is yet another reason I adore her and need her, now. You don’t even appreciate her enough, you likely ignore her when she is sleeping, instead of staying awake the whole night watching her slumber in her dream land.
So what do you propose? You want to confine your girl to a life of unsatisfactory romance, or give her to me already? I will propose to her, and I will make her fully mine by next week.