Intercom listeners:
Listen to the North Palm Intercom Radio Speaker System (NPIRSS).
Enjoy the soothing sound of the mall landscape as you shop and take in your surroundings.
If you ever find yourself lost, please refer back to one of the many mall map guides around the mall, it’s important you know this as we have seen far too many lost shoppers and far too many injured shoppers. We take 0% responsibility for your negligence to proper mall safety. We do care about you, but we don’t care when you can’t care for yourself, get it? Okay. Write that down.
- Jay_Nash : Lovely time to be silly
- kitten : yes
- Clex : what is this place? am i lost?
- DaNutSak : greetings
- kitten : bogos binted??
- lunaticaq : zigi zugu bogos binted?
- kitten : whose vom did i just step in? larry? did uou get too turnt?
- Lady Frith : This one?
- james_thejanitor : not again...
- Larry : I got turnt up near the north enterance. You might want to get on my level.
- guest_4685 : I threw up near the east entrance. You might want a janitor to clean that up. Sorry...
- hello : have you ever heard of a nintendo 3ds? Get one! they are so peak
- kitten : honestly, with any luck, we'll all spontaneously combust quite soon
- Rip : Oh good satan and lord
- guest_4806 : hii! hope you have a great day
- James names the jame : Bames nond is having a stronk, call a bondulance
- snart : snart
- kitten : i wish i could delete my everything
- NotAFed : we out here
- seras : Im like damn shes fine, wondering when shell be mine
- popo : i got a glock in my rari
- popo : helloooo
- kitten : everything is dark
- Harvey-SV : Excuse me, where is the soup section?
- kitten : yeah
We’re open!
Visit us off exit 95. 
You’re reading this, it means you are too late, and there is nothing you can do now.
If you’re enjoying your stay at North Palm Mall consider a small donation to keep the lights on. You know how it is, the intercom costs us some money to keep running. Someone threw a boulder at one of our employees the other day, unrelated but I thought it was funny, I genuinely do hope they recover before Tuesday morning, though. I called off for that day to watch my show.
If you leave a message in the donation box then we’ll be given no choice but to read it.
You may hear us reading your message through the intercom announcements, however, if your message is horrible and cruel and unusual and sadistic and twisted and messed up and depraved and barbaric and savage and sour and empowering and belittling, we may not read it aloud on the speaker, although we often hear much worse than anything you can say, so do your worst, we don’t care anymore.
Are you enjoying the music? Support the artists that make it possible!