North Palm Mall

Listen to the North Palm Intercom Radio Speaker System (NPIRSS).
Enjoy the soothing sound of the mall landscape as you shop and take in your surroundings.

If you ever find yourself lost, please refer back to one of the many mall map guides around the mall, it’s important you know this as we have seen far too many lost shoppers and far too many injured shoppers. We take 0% responsibility for your negligence to proper mall safety. We do care about you, but we don’t care when you can’t care for yourself, get it? Okay. Write that down.

We’re open!
Visit us off exit 95.

You’re reading this, it means you are too late, and there is nothing you can do now.

If you’re enjoying your stay at North Palm Mall consider a small donation to keep the lights on. You know how it is, the intercom costs us some money to keep running. Someone threw a boulder at one of our employees the other day, unrelated but I thought it was funny, I genuinely do hope they recover before Tuesday morning, though. I called off for that day to watch my show.

If you leave a message in the donation box then we’ll be given no choice but to read it.

You may hear us reading your message through the intercom announcements, however, if your message is horrible and cruel and unusual and sadistic and twisted and messed up and depraved and barbaric and savage and sour and empowering and belittling, we may not read it aloud on the speaker, although we often hear much worse than anything you can say, so do your worst, we don’t care anymore.